Still loving conducting Humanist ceremonies

I’m still loving conducting Humanist ceremonies. I love it to my core. Every couple at every Humanist wedding is different. Every family at each naming ceremony or civil confirmation ceremony or Humanist funeral is different. Being with people at such significant times in life is a privilege and honour. It’s wonderful when a ceremony touches the emotions, when there’s laughter and tears.

I do believe the only meaning in life is love. And so when a couple find love it’s appropriate for them to make their vows to one another in a personal ceremony which focuses on the human significance of this moment in the life of this couple. No two couples are alike. No two gatherings of guests are the same. Each ceremony is itself a singular moment.

Ritual is important in human life. Ceremonies mark rites of passage; turning points in people’s lives. They are never only about the people directly involved. In a naming ceremony, it takes a village to raise a child; so it’s good to recognize that reality by relatives and friends gathering together to celebrate the wonder of a new human life; and to name that new personality; to celebrate and pause and reflect and be thankful and to share meaning together.

When it comes to weddings, remember that two people are getting married and they alone should decide for themselves the type of ceremony they want. Choosing to do that can be a moment of maturity for the couple: they alone choose. It can sometimes be hard for the parents of a couple to let go. To trust their children. To respect their choice.

 

Norah Casey The Meaning of Life

That was a very moving final episode of the current series of Gay Byrne’s (RTE 1 television ) The Meaning of Life in which Gaybo interviewed Norah Casey, one year after the sad and sudden death of her beloved husband. It was touching, sad, honest, true and insightful, marred only by Gaybo’s cultural conditioning within Catholicism and seeming inability to transcend that limited and relatively recent (loopy) worldview. However, he remains a master of his broadcasting craft, verging on the peerless in fact. And I’m pretty sure I saw his eyes well up too at the raw grief evident still of Norah’s sad loss. It is true that Catholicism offers tools to help deal with grief – whether rattling off rosaries like a mantra, or the music and colour of the requiem mass. It’s just a pity that it often seems to hijack the human inevitability of death, as if the Catholic way is the only language of handling death when it clearly isn’t. And when, as is the case now, increasing numbers of people no longer believe in Catholic dogmas – happily – it can leave people floundering for an alternative rite of passage which is meaningful for post-Christians/unbelievers. True, humanists offer secular funeral services but as yet not so many people know about these. And Catholics have the advantage of dry/warm/sheltered church buildings in which to hold ceremonies for the bereaved. I wonder if they are sufficiently ‘catholic/universal’ to allow non-Catholics or former Catholics to shelter there from the elements on cold, rainy days to conduct secular funerals for bereaved fellow humans? Finally, Gaybo mentioned he’d never been present at anyone’s death and Norah seemed surprised. I was lucky/privileged enough to be present at the death of my father and my father-in-law, profound experiences both. Regardless of one’s religious/secular worldview, death is the one thing that unites us all. Each of us must die. How appalling that some religious people exclude people, even in death. It is not long ago that unbaptized infants could not be buried in ‘consecrated’ cemeteries and when crazy religious thinking  deemed such infants left to fester in ‘Limbo’. What unmitigated nonsense was taught to us and we, with our brains parked somewhere other than inside our heads, believed such waffle.