In this first podcast I discuss Humanist weddings under lockdown and the prospect for all weddings for the foreseeable future. I also read a short extract from my memoir.

Joe Armstrong discusses Humanist weddings – and all weddings – during lockdown and the prospect for weddings for the foreseeable future. Weddings are dangerous places. It’s no accident that they are amongst the last activities to be considered in plans to reopen economies.

Covid19 is highly contagious. There is no vaccine. Gathering people together even for a ceremony is highly risky. Could the day of the big wedding be gone for several years?

Scientists know that two metres is safer than one metre and yet many couples are hoping that the social distancing requirement will be reduced to one metre. But even if that is allowed, it won’t be safer merely by being permissible – if it does become permissible.

Loud singing, and musical instruments blowing tiny particles into the air, or guests laughing, singing or clapping, as so often at my ceremonies, also heightens the danger of covid-19.

The number of guests gathered, often from many different households or from abroad, makes it crazily risky.

Then there are the risks of shared pen for signing, a shared microphone, rituals involves proximity of guests. Nice rituals like passing the wedding rings around your guests so they can wish you all the best is out of the question with covid – as it’s a sure way to pass the infection.

And then the celebrant can be put in an awkward position if a couple insists on doing something which the celebrant knows is risky; a ritual or practice that exposes guests – and their contacts – to greater hazard.

And of course weddings are about connecting with people – hugs, kisses, handshaking – all practices which should not happen during a pandemic. And as summer turns to winter, increasingly weddings will be indoors.

And indoor gatherings have a higher concentration of the virus. The viral load can make such happenings very dangerous.

Moreover, with increasing evidence that covid-19 may be airborne, then even two metres won’t protect people from breathing in tiny viral droplets expelled from people’s breaths, especially in an indoor space.

My advice to couples is to reimagine their ceremony. Have far, far fewer people in attendance. Others can watch on a webcam, whether in another room or in their homes.

I urge couples to reconcile themselves to two metre social distancing for most people at the wedding ceremony. It’s safer. Why would anyone want to risk someone getting seriously ill or dying because a couple would prefer more people seated closer together at a wedding ceremony.

We live in a new world. Everything has changed. A smaller wedding can be more intimate, more meaningful, less exhausting. It can be more affordable. Kinder to the environment with fewer people travelling to it. It can help you to focus on the most important things about your wedding: committing to each other in love.

Covid for all of us is an opportunity to reconsider our values. And what is most important in life. Celebrating your love. Committing yourselves to each other, in a loving, meaningful ceremony. Having, if possible, your very closest family and friends with you on the day. Keeping it small, safe and simple. Kinder on your pocket. Better for the environment. Safer for the health of everyone.